


The Taste of Strawberries and Vomit

by TheFlamingo013



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Atsumu will never eat pudding again, Crack Fic, M/M, Not Beta Read, OsaHina stupid in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:27:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27780763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFlamingo013/pseuds/TheFlamingo013
Summary: Osamu can sock him later, and Atsumu will definitely punch back, but pudding eaten is a pudding that will never return. It was sweet. It was disgusting.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Miya Osamu
Comments: 22
Kudos: 155





	The Taste of Strawberries and Vomit

**Author's Note:**

> *LAUGHS IN CHAOTIC EVIL*

“One day, I’ll cook for ya.”

The crowd stills, their cheering team quiet (those squealing pigs, finally!), both of the opposing teams’ jaws comically drops at the same time, and Atsumu _really_ regrets not eating his twin in their Ma’s womb when he had the chance. 

Stupidity is contagious, Atsumu knew this not by google facts but from experience, and right now his twin is doing a good job cementing the statement via spectral evidence. Sure Atsumu was not book smart, _a bit_ socially awkward with a touch of emotional constipation that his only redeeming features were his good looks and volleyball. Osamu, the lesser Miya twin on the hand, had always been hailed the opposite of his older brother for he was everything Atsumu was not. Right now though, it was downright evident who took all the stupid between them when they were born. 

“H-huh?” See? Even the recipient was dumbfounded.

“I'll make all yer meals- breakfast, lunch, and dinner.” Each word was accompanied with every bold step forward until it was only a net separating his twin from one unfortunate Hinata Shouyou. 

At the back of the scene was half of Karasuno ready to throw hands despite the grueling sets they've just played and the other half _too floored_ to move. Across them, however, was the dead tired Inarizaki too sore to deal with Osamu’s antics as Aran sends a quick prayer to the deities in hopes of prolonging Kita’s patience while Suna whips his phone out to immortalize the moment. They mean well, really.

“Midnight snacks' optional.” 

It’s official. Miya Osamu’s lost his fucking marbles. 

“Osamu.” Not dumbass, not ‘Samu, not even his full name because that would be weird considering they’re both Miyas. “What the fuck.”

On another day Atsumu would’ve been rejoicing that he has proof, PROOF! that his brother wasn’t the cool cucumber everyone thought him out to be but after a humiliating defeat, Inarizaki needed out and a good cry, not another wave of secondhand embarrassment damnit. 

But Osamu pointedly ignores him (as usual) in favor of going under the net to further close the distance between him and Shouyou until they were only a couple of inches apart. “Will ya marry me?”

All hell broke loose. 

“I-is this some sort of sick joke?!” says Buddha from Karasuno. 

“Yer both too young to get married.” That was Kita. 

“Holy shit,” sputtered ten different players from all over the gymnasium, all acquainted via sunshine-incarnate Shouyou, but Atsumu was certain they shared the same sentiments.

“Does this mean Hinata gets to have a new jersey?” Kageyama. Definitely Kageyama. His priorities are as fucked up as Osamu’s sense of shame which is non-existent at the moment. 

But it didn’t stop there as Osamu took the prime opportunity to lace his trembling fingers (why is he the one nervous in the situation he instigated?) against Shouyou’s. The middle blocker blushes ten shades of crimson but does not pull away, which Osamu took as a sign of encouragement to continue professing his undying love. 

Wanting to save his twin from public rejection and what's left of his sanity, Atsumu looked to the umpires for help. Fortunately, they mirrored his mortified expression, unfortunately, they were also torn between blowing the whistle to stop whatever the hell was happening or see through it in the end. The latter choice won as _technically_ , it wasn't against the rules to publicly confess to one of the players from the opposing team who had their asses handed down to them. 

_'But that's beside the point!'_ Atsumu's mentally screamed while everyone else was now shaking in anticipation, mouthing ‘ _just kiss him already’_ under their breath (to Osamu) or ‘ _hell no, get the fuck away from that creep’_ (to Shouyou). 

“O-oh.” Shouyou looking adorably criminal with his lips parted and eyes wide in confusion, says. Osamu remains unfazed while Atsumu wonders if he was the only sane person in the stadium left. But there was still hope for the tangerine gremlin. All Shouyou had to do was put on his signature, million-dollar smile and gently turn his brother down- “Okay.” 

Scratch that. He’s a goner too.

Was Atsumu stuck in a loop of horror? A heinous nightmare? It would definitely explain why they lost to a no-name team from Miyagi and his brother his mind. Or maybe it was Karma bitching out at him for doing the one thing Osamu menacingly told him not to. **_But of course, Atsumu doesn't listen because who could resist the last, expensive pudding displayed on the topmost corner shelf at their favorite Konbini store-_ **

“Okay?” Osamu stupidly repeats as if he wasn't expecting this at all. In hindsight, neither did Atsumu or anyone else present at the moment. The crooked smile looked downright hideous on his twin’s face, nothing like Atsumu’s coy smirk ~~shit-eating grin~~ after bumping a ball just a couple of seconds from dropping on the floor, yet Shouyou returns the awkward gesture with a beam.

“Okay.” Shouyou chuckles before tiptoeing tall enough to plant a chaste kiss on Osamu's lips. The crowd cheers, some faints, most ready to deck his brother, and Atsumu would definitely let them. Shouyou had a fan club of his own after all. Yet the two remained unbothered, too engrossed in their private moment as if everything was the white noise and everyone else was just background characters. 

**_-basically begging to be eaten by none other than Atsumu himself._ ** The premium strawberry pudding that his pig of a brother had religiously saved before they left for Tokyo taunted him for days before he finally caved and did the unthinkable. 

He ate it without remorse.

Osamu can sock him later, and Atsumu will definitely punch back, but pudding eaten is a pudding that will never return. It was sweet. It was disgusting. 

Osamu then breaks the kiss in favor of holding Shouyou by both sides of his waist before spinning him midair. The middle blocker’s laugh was as soft as the spring breeze, horribly paling in comparison with the lesser Miya twin’s chuckles which awfully sounded like a homicidal maniac on a killing spree. (But that was just Atsumu’s biased opinion of trash talking his brother in his narrative.) Their height difference was as cute as it was endearing to watch. 

Come think of it, it was also sweet, at the same time disgusting. Right after their match with Karasuno, his snack made its reincarnation in the form of vomit clamoring out of his throat and into the nearest bag, Akagi's probably, as he puked his guts out. This continued after Nekoma vs. Karasuno, then Kamomedai when Shouyou was pulled out of the game via stretcher to an ambulance. Conveniently, Atsumu also hitched a ride in said ambulance.

Ah, that's right. This wasn't real. He was in the hospital for food poisoning. 

How lame. 

* * *

Atsumu wakes up groggily to the sight of blinding fluorescent light, moldy white ceilings, and the putrid smell of antiseptics. 

"Atsumu." Kita was looking down on him with an unreadable expression and the setter was ready to go to Nirvana. "Ya ate Osamu's pudding."

"No shit." The words slipped out of his mouth without thinking. 

"What was that?"

"Nothing! And it was an accident!" 

Enter the owner of said pudding, looking more guilty than murderous. "I _specifically_ told ya not to eat it ‘cause it was expired!" says Osamu before dumping a plastic bag full of food into his lap. "But ya never listen." 

Atsumu shrugged, unapologetic but feeling generous to accept his brother's compensation. But his nose scrunches in disgust at the sight of six pudding cups of different flavors. "How do I know yer not ‘ere to finish the job?" 

Osamu rolls his eyes. "If I wanted ta kill ya, I wouldn't have carried yer ass all the way to the ambulance." But Osamu did want to kill him, especially after shouting at his crush (yes, it was too damn obvious that his twin was hopeless against Karasuno’s ginger-haired, middle blocker) that he'll be setting for him in the future. That was what happened, no crazy food slash marriage proposals or public make-outs. Albeit the day ended in a tragedy with their division's number one setter in the hospital with one Hinata Shouyou. 

Speaking of the tangerine gremlin- 

"Ummm, are you okay now Miya-san?" Tuffs of orange peeked out from the wooden door frame of his private ward. Shouyou had a face mask on, eyes still red from the frustration of getting pulled out of the game combined with fever but definitely better looking than Atsumu with an IV drip. Kita lets him in and Osamu was over the moon. 

"Right back at ya, Shouyou-kun." He throws him a random pudding cup from his snack pile. "'Samu got ya this."

Osamu choked while the object of his affections looked bewildered. "F-For me?"

Atsumu grins and nods. "Handpicked by the one and only."

"I love strawberries!" he turns to Osamu, almost immediately killing with his smile. “Thank you so much.” 

Their conversation flows easily from there as they eat pudding at the ends of Atsumu's bed. They talk about every random thing they could pick up on- mostly volleyball, Kita’s self-care rituals as he scolds the two who landed in the hospital during a tournament, and everything embarrassing the Miya twins’ ever done in their life, effectively melting their intimidating image to just another pair of volleyball idiots. 

“I’m so lucky,” says Shouyou, a hint of pink dusting his cheeks either from fever or his choice of words. “to have Japan’s number one setter wanting to toss to me.” 

Atsumu then wanted to trade Osamu for Shouyou as his younger brother while his twin lamented not poisoning his pudding when he had the chance. 

“You’ll regret saying that in the future, Shouyou-kun. He’s a tyrannical, abusive pig who’ll kill ya if ya suck.” The lesser Miya twin seethes in jealousy, to which Shouyou laughs off as brothers simply teasing each other. Unfortunately, Kita couldn’t agree.

“Fortunately he doesn’t,” says Atsumu, who then realizes that he could use _this_ , turn the tables and his suffering into a blessing. Lady Karma was smiling on him today. For usually it was Osamu making his older twin the butt of the team's joke, but now Atsumu had the upper hand in the form of one Hinata Shouyou who Osamu is hopelessly craving for. His brother's love life was now in his skilled, setter hands. "It's getting a lil' late, doncha think? And Shouyou-kun should be restin' too." he says offhandedly, which in Osamu's book means his twin's up to no good. "Mind takin' him back ta his room, 'Samu?"

Before his brother could protest, Shouyou was already on his feet and ready to go. "Alright then. Get well soon, Miya-san!"

"For the last time, call me Atsumu. Or _Atsumu-sama_ if ya still want those private practices." he winks for good measure and Osamu looks ready to deck him right there and then. "This bastard can still be Miya-san though."

His twin gives him the stink eye before slamming the door on him and Kita, huffing miserably that his stomps could be heard from outside. But the pink dusting his cheeks and the small smile on his lips as the tangerine middle blocker tries to call him by his first name says otherwise. 

"Playing match-maker?" asks Kita. 

"Maybe." Atsumu grins. 

* * *

They leave on an early note, courtesy of their captain's strict morning rituals as Inarizaki's half-asleep players make their way to the bus. Atsumu had just been discharged from the hospital alongside Osamu who was supposed to pick him up but showed late, unapologetic for getting side-tracked. But his twin knew better, as did the rest of the team who saw Osamu leaving the hotel hours earlier to hoard food at the nearest convenience store, none of which made it to Atsumu. 

Osamu awfully smelt like strawberries and Atsumu didn't want or need to know why, opting to sleep instead. 

Fortunately for Atsumu, it came like a breeze. 

Unfortunately for Atsumu, the things he had dreamed about were more of a warning premonition than just expired food-induced nightmares. That seven exhausting years later of pining after one another, Shouyou and Osamu finally made their complicated, on-off relationship official. In between said years, Atsumu had to put up playing mediator between his brother and his new best friend. It was as exhausting as entertaining to see the two fumble into a slow burn romance-Esque, completely opposite of the brave, hormonal teenagers who made out in front of the entire stadium that once haunted Atsumu's dreams. There was even a point that Atsumu _conveniently_ forgot to tell his twin that after two years of training in Brazil, Shouyou was coming back to Japan as a wing spiker for BJ MSBY. The very same team Atsumu was in. 

Osamu bans him from Onigiri Miya for an entire month. Talk about ungratefulness. 

A couple more years later though, Osamu- much like his counterpart from Atsumu’s pudding nightmare, made good on his promise to cook for Shouyou every day of their lives. Atsumu didn't know if it was a coincidence, considering Shouyou was drafted for the Olympics' National Team and will be sporting the same last name by then, but his brother was no setter. Osamu didn't know the right timing or angle, but he definitely chose the right path needed to win their petty, happier-in-life competition in the form of a warm, devoted, and loving partner named Hinata Shouyou. 

They get married by springtime in an old, family shrine in Hyogo.

Currently, Atsumu’s predicament was bigger than the ridiculously, enormous strawberry-flavored pudding cake displayed at the reception center, courtesy of Shouyou’s rich ~~sugar daddy~~ best friend. No, it was even bigger than his ego which was the size of all the oceans combined. His best man slash best friend speech was _absolute shit_ in comparison to Kita’s heartwarming advice and Kageyama’s unexpected, tear-jerking poem- one of the best highlights of the evening cause who fucking knew that Shouyou’s volleyball soulmate could wax poetry.

He gulps as the spotlight shines on him next, urging him to top that. Atsumu _really_ should’ve gone first. Inwardly he prays for Lady Karma for help, wanting to cash in all the goods he has done for his brother (which weren’t much) to get him through the night. 

Shouyou’s eyes were looking at him with wonder, no doubt eager for his brother-in-law’s speech while his bastard of a brother smirked. The smug son-of-a-bitch knew this would happen. 

_‘Fuck it.’_ Atsumu thinks as he stomps on the prefabricated platform. He thinks about telling everyone that the life lesson here was to forsake your twin in favor of the last, premium strawberry pudding no matter how rottenly expired it was. Because if it wasn’t for Atsumu puking his guts out and landing in the hospital that day, then there wouldn’t be any OsaHina wedding happening right now. If Atsumu can’t make the grooms and their guests cry, he could definitely get them to laugh instead. Besides, what older brother would miss the chance to embarrass their younger brother on their big day? 

That was until Atsumu felt his foot caught up against the cables, effectively jerking the rest of the wires from the stage and all the way to the decorative stands. In a blink of an eye, some of the guests were pulled out of their chairs and suddenly the pudding cake was _flying._

The moment stills as Beethoven’s Ode to Joy plays in the background. There was a growing pile of friends desperately trying to diffuse the chaos but Atsumu, the instigator of the unfortunate situation, was mesmerized by the pastry in motion. Kinda like a chance ball, waiting to be received, or set- 

**_Splat!_ **

The cake flew straight into the groom’s table. It covered them _so much_ that only tufts of tangerine locks could make out Shouyou’s existence in that pile while Osamu looked downright _murderous_. 

Ah, Atsumu was screwed. Fortunately, Shouyou liked strawberries, right? 

**Author's Note:**

> Hallelujah, I am finally free of this semester's final requirements. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this self-indulgent, OsaHina fic thru the suffering eyes of one Miya Atsumu. And no, I do not recommend eating expired food for the sake of romance.
> 
> Kudos and comments are very much appreciated :D


End file.
